Perfectionist Motherhood: Is It Hurting Marriages?

by The Love Council

Dr. Sarah Stedman

In my work as a celebrant, I maintain that a powerful connection with "community" is essential to the preservation of a healthy sense of self and, ultimately, the social fabric of our civilization. Women have become so insistently self-reliant and focused on achievement that they find themselves internalizing their parenting dilemmas instead of seeking the resources of community ‑- starting with the community under their own roofs, their spousal relationship.


One of the celebrant's goals is to challenge couples to discover for themselves that "community" begins with the union of actively equal partners as a mutual support system. Such a union creates an energy that expands like circles on a pond to include family and friends. That collective support keeps the balance of energy between partners equal. And the power of that communal energy can be a vital resource for the isolated "supermom."


Like Judith Warner said in her book, women should use the muscle of a superb education or collective women's voice to change or rearrange their social support system.

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