- Take turns with "sex spoil sessions." Every fifth time you have sex, one of you spoils the other with things you know your partner will enjoy. (Note the emphasis on what your partner enjoys, not what you enjoy.) This might be as simple as giving him a gloriously thorough working over with your tongue — or involve you packing a picnic to head off for alfresco sex.
- Take a sexual inventory. Write suggested sexual activities on two sheets of paper, then each of you rates them from hot (would love to try) to warm, lukewarm and cold. Add your own, but choose from things like spanking, role-playing, semipublic sex, tie-up games, blindfolding, talking dirty, anal sex and watching or making erotic films. When you're done, make note of the activities that scored high(-ish) for both of you. Try one every two weeks or once a month.
Turn Your Bedroom into a Sex Den
Sex in your average bedroom is a yawn. Sex in an erotic, exotic playroom is sexier than that recurring fantasy of your favorite celebrity walking into your bedroom just as you're reaching in that bedside drawer... You get the picture. Some essentials: