Lies and deception are bad enough, but when a spouse betrays you the shock can be devastating. Millions of marriages -- one in every 2.7 American couples -- are touched by infidelity. But what the numbers don't reveal is what betrayed spouses are doing to get past their personal trauma and rebuild their lives. Here, iVillage members of the Betrayed Spouses Support Group offer the candid guidance they wish they'd had.

Finding Out: What to do right after "D-Day"

"Take time off. Going away for a while (with or without children) helps you to gain clarity. Take a few days off from work. If that's not possible, go away for a weekend. Even if you can only afford to go down the street to a friend's house, the personal time is worth it." --elangro

"Surround yourself with people who love you. Ask for help and support from your parents, siblings and friends right away. Don't be afraid of what anyone might think, because this situation is not your fault." --elangro