"Beep, beep, beep. This is a test. This is a test of the emergency loneliness system. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been informed that I'm an attractive six-foot, 170-pound single male professional.... But this is only a test. To avoid further interruptions, respond immediately to box 1234. We now return you to your regularly scheduled messages. Beep, beep, beep."

That was the first voice message left for me in a "mailbox" of a large telephone dating service. Several hours later, my brief ad joined the thousands of others vying for the attention of "that special someone" on the other end of a phone, somewhere in this big lonely city. By the next day, I'd received about 30 responses: women (and even two men!) who had found my ad -- or perhaps just my voice -- interesting, and had recorded a reply in my mailbox. I was on my way -- leaping right into the deep end of the dating scene after 10 years of monogamy.

Now, two years later, I look back on those early days with some surprise at my good fortune. While I've heard from several others of "blind dates from hell," my own experience was quite the opposite. I honestly never met a woman I didn't like. All were attractive (some more than others), intelligent (ditto), and all were pleasant company -- even if only for a drink or a lunch at a first and only meeting.

In short, I met quite a few interesting people; gained confidence that others found me interesting too; learned a lot; dated three women who are still good friends of mine (plus one who's not); had fun; and yes, eventually found "that special someone." Since you're reading about divorce, I'll go out on a limb and suppose that you're one of the two-million North Americans who are about to have their first date in several years. I want you to know that, while you may be scared and uncertain about dating, it can be truly fun.

Before you begin your search for a companion, however, you need to seriously consider whether you're fully ready for dating. It's too easy to plunge headlong into dating after a far-too-brief period of remorse/grieving/contemplation/anger/ guilt regarding your failed marriage. You may feel that starting to date again immediately will ease your pain. I'm here to tell you firsthand that it won't. And it's simply not fair to yourself -- or to those whom you date -- to go at this too quickly. You should be looking for someone to complement your life, not to save it.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled article about traditional dating services--from telephone personals to matchmakers. Click here to start playing the dating game: