Dear Sherry,
I want to know the difference between loving someone and being "in love" with them. I really need help in this because someone I've been dating told me that he loves me. I told him he could not possiby mean it, it hasn't been that long. I have strong feelings, but I think it's too early to call it love.
--Teressaj
Dear Teressaj:
Ah, one of the great fine distinctions of all times. Here goes.
"In love" is that giddy, crazy, hormone-fueled state that makes otherwise sane people do insane things -- like emptying their bank accounts to give to a brand-new beau present, being talked into having a quickie in the office bathroom with a faulty lock during a company party, and tossing off the words "I'm in love" when what you mean is, "I'm crazy in lust."
Loving someone is that rational though joyous state you arrive at when you've been with someone for a while, had countless discussions together about spiritual philosophies and life goals, know not just their erogenous zones but favorite ice cream flavor, have had nights where you'd rather just cuddle, and no longer consider them perfect (far from it!), but know that that's okay.
"In love" can develop into love, or it can fizzle into, "What the @#$@$ was I thinking?" Only time will tell.
