"And you thought your parents were embarrassing." That's the slogan for the film Meet the Fockers. Movies and books make it seem like the challenge of bringing a new beau home is in getting your parents to approve of your boyfriend. But the real challenge is in getting your boyfriend to like your parents ‑- not to mention the rest of your crazy clan. Will your family's eccentricities scare your new man away? Not with the help of our old friend: damage control.

Pre-Meeting Maneuvers

Your first move should be to give careful thought to whether you really want to bring together these potentially combustible forces. Says dating expert April Masini (www.askapril.com), "Introducing your boyfriend to your family for the first time is a major step that announces, 'We're serious,' as in marriage or a long-term committed relationship." Are you really ready for that?

If you answered yes, that your relationship is grounded, not fly-by-night, then bringing him home is inevitable, and we shift into phase two: Plan now, suffer less later. Not only do you need to prepare yourself emotionally, you also need to guide your guy, as well as your family, when it comes to the best things to do and say ‑- and to avoid ‑- on the big day. Tina Tessina, LMFT, PhD and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, adds, "Find out his expectations beforehand and share yours." And don't forget to (diplomatically) suggest that your guy bring a hostess gift ‑- always a big step toward a positive first impression. Who knew a fruit basket could carry so much weight?

Quirks Are Us

Let's just say your little brother is a relentless practical joker (frogs down shirts, whoopie cushions on chairs) and your father dislikes anyone who doesn't whip out the pom-poms for his favorite sports team. These are factoids about your lovely family that should be shared with your man ahead of time, not withheld from him. Just tell it like it is.

That means not keeping him in the dark about wacky family traditions. Lori Goggan, a 24-year-old account executive, learned this the hard way. When she brought her boyfriend to her parents' house on Halloween night, the couple were handed "seasonal" pants to change into. "It was game night," Lori recalls. "Not only were we expected to play Pictionary, we had to wear special team uniforms." Luckily, the boyfriend in question was a good sport, which won him points with both Lori and her family. And best of all? "Our team won," Lori says proudly.