--Val
Our experts say:
First of all, congratulations on your imminent engagement. What an exciting time of year to get engaged. And what better Christmas present can you ask for than a sparkling diamond ring? Now regarding your concern -- that your boyfriend won't get you the ring you want -- keep in mind that your boyfriend may not give you a ring at all. These days, most couples get engaged without the ring. Although that isn't the traditional way to go, it does help to ensure that the groom's hard-earned money (if he plans to pay for the ring by himself) gets spent on exactly the right ring. Once he pops the question, he can then ask his future bride what type of ring she wants. Many couples even shop together for the ring.
There are a few ways to make joint ring shopping work. You and your boyfriend can hit the stores together and choose something beautiful. Or you can pick out a few you like, then send in your boyfriend to make the final decision. Another option: Go together to choose the ring you want, then leave it up to your boyfriend to place the order, pick it up and present it to you (on bended knee, of course). That way you can combine practicality with tradition.
If your boyfriend is more the traditional type and wants to be in charge of choosing and presenting you with a ring on Christmas (without your input), then it's time to start sending him hints about what you want. Have you seen any pictures of ring styles you like? Go ahead and leave them "casually" lying around where he can't miss seeing them. Or go window-shopping together in an area where there are plenty of jewelry stores. Be sure to point out one or a few rings you like. If you prefer a more direct approach and know your boyfriend will appreciate (rather than be annoyed by) your help, be straightforward with your man and simply tell him what type of engagement ring will make you happy. He'll probably be relieved that the pressure to pick perfectly has been lifted from his shoulders.
295 member responses
members say:
An engagement ring costs a lot of money. I have a coworker who never wears hers because she thinks it's hideous. Is she spoiled? Maybe. But I think that if you know your boyfriend is going to get you a ring, you want him to spend his money on something you'll want to show off. Once we started talking about engagements and marriage, I sent my boyfriend some screenshots of rings I found particularly pretty. I am leaving the rest up to him depending on his budget, timing, and what he likes and wants to give me. After all, it's his gift to me. If he didn't get me a ring and just proposed, that would be fine with me too.
--Posted by Someone Who Sees Both Sides, Washington, DC
You are kidding right? Whatever happened to being grateful for what you've received? If this is how women think in today's world, it's no wonder we have the problems we have. And that's coming from a 32 year old.
--Posted by Ribbons, Washington, DC
I saw where you can give your intended a walnut to plant so you can grow a tree together as your marriage grows and two handmade walnut wedding rings. I thought that was beautiful.
--Posted by Ursula, Lexington, KY
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yes, but I don't want to hint because a proposal is a surprise. I know a person who sells diamonds and I can get a good deal. To me the clarity, color and grade are way more important than the size. I also know what style I want. How can you say this (this is a lot of info for a guy) w/out him thinking you're expecting a proposal when it's supposed to be um, a surprise :)?
--Posted by anonymous, Los Angeles, CA
I think alot of the time women , not all , mostly young, again not all get hung up on how a ring looks. I personally just appreciate having one that wont scratch my kids or husband that I can wear all that time and cherish the reason that its there.
--Posted by Dorothy, Vancouver, WA